Singapore Wildlife

Nope. Not monkeys.

We have a lizard. He's not all that big, and I guess he eats bugs, but he is living under my bed. I have a fundamental problem with this. I do not wish to cohabit with a lizard. Call it what you will - intolerance, prejudice, hate. Whatever. I want him dead.

The thing about a lizard is that you don't just step on him. If he is in the kitchen, I can shoo him out. But this guy was 3 floors up! I went to the store, asked what to do about a lizard. The guy took me to the lizard repellent section. Section! There were no less than 15 'lizard repellants' that boasted one success level or another, none terribly convincing.

I headed out to my little Wednesday group and decided to ask the locals for advice. Some of these people have lived here for years - surely they could help. They said...

"All food in refrigerator!" "Take out trash every day! No food, no lizards." "Put vegetable oil all around your counters. This will keep them off. Also helps with ants." What you do is build a moat. Water all around, lizards not cross. Also helps with cockroaches." "Crushed cloves of garlic. Spread it around, lizards hate smell. Also helps with rats and mice." Plus the Angel of Death and Vampires, I guess, but I didn't say that...

And, my personal favorite...."Get a dog."

I found all this advice not at all reassuring. I had set out to figure out what to do about one lizard, and was told the pest possibilities were pretty much endless. I figure I will leave the lizard alone. After all, they do eat bugs, don't they?

But if we get rats and mice I'm going back to the US.