The Last Resort

All Expats want out of their respective countries at Christmas. It comes with the territory. We decided that the perfect place to go for us this year was Langkawi Beach, Malaysia. The beaches are fabulous, the weather is warm and dry. It is just right. When John sat down to make the reservations, though, he hit a snag. It was September...months before Christmas...but things were booking fast. The cheapest way to fly was to leave on December 20 and return on December 26. The big bummer was that December 20 had no accommodations available that were even remotely affordable. We booked it anyway, and figured December 20 would work itself out.

In November (and my kids say I am a worrier) I decided to figure out that December 20th thing. Phil and I had pretty good luck with the guest house experience in Cambodia, so we put our heads together and decided that we would do that again. After all, we would only be there for 12 hours or so, and all we needed was a place to stay until the next morning when we could get on the Island resort where we had booked the rest of the week.

We settled on the Zachary Guest House. Zachary had one compelling feature - it was available.

We caught a cab at the airport and headed to Zachary's. The cab driver, Mufasa, was a peach. He took one look at the place, gave us his number, and told us to call him any time - he could be there to pick us up inside 10 minutes. We assured him we were fine. But we took the number. We found our way down a dirt road to the check in area...the guy in charge shooed away the lizards, found the keys, and showed us to our rooms. Phil's room was first...he kicked off his shoes, threw himself on the bed, and declared he could stay in this place all week. Matt and Andrew's room came next. Andrew took off his shoes, sat down on the bed, and decided one night would be fine. Matt rooted around in his bag, found a shirt he wouldn't mind burning later, wrapped it around the pillow, and asked us how the hell he was supposed to sleep standing up. John and I had deluxe accommodations, as in a big bed, a little bit of space, and two fans that blew full force. Also we were right next door to the bathroom.

In the morning, Matt was, not so surprisingly, up early. Maybe it was the chickens, maybe it was the monkeys, maybe he is just an early riser. One never knows. He came into our room and declared that in the kitchen area there was one couple who were already up. The woman looked ok...a few tattoos and a bit of road dust, perhaps, but pleasant and friendly. The man was sitting at the computer clad only in a 'banana hammock.' For those of you unfamiliar with Matt's brand of unvarnished vernacular, a banana hammock is a G-string. He was ready to call Mufasa.

We headed out back to the kitchen, and met the Tattooed Lady and the Banana Man. They were actually delightful. They had a little girl who was maybe 2. My feeling is a warm bath and a little time for the swelling to go down on her mosquito bites and she would have been just cute as a button. They showed us where to make coffee, and ushered us out to the pool area where we could enjoy a little early morning sunshine and our cuppa kopi instant.

We hung around there most of the morning. We made a couple friends, drank our cuppas, and waited for Andrew and Phil to wake up. We headed out just before noon to the resort where we had booked the rest of the week. We joked about ol' Zachary's the whole holiday, tho. We even gave it a new name...For us, it was The Last Resort....The pictures just barely do it justice...

Oh yeah - Matt is not actually jumping into the pool. I did a little Photoshopping. Some things are impossible to resist...